Yesterday:
rockstar sugar free: 20
grilled shrimp: 108
10 french fries: 250 (total guess)
2 turnip cakes: 70
veggie burger: 80
light bun: 80
= 608

I think I'm going to try for 800 calories or less per day with some fasting.
Maybe after a week or two on this I'll be able to do the 2468 days.

PS - I love the rock star sugar free energy drinks.

Today so far:
1/2 cup almond milk: 30 calories
Rockstar sugar free: 20 calories

30 min workout: -250 calories (hurt my damn knee this is really going to hurt my running GRRRRR)

I want to do a 2 or 3 day fast, maybe a juice fast since I'm also working out - but I'm worried about my husband - I know he'll be on me allnight to eat dinner and wanting to know why I'm not eating. Even if I tell him I'm not hungry he'll make me eat something - I've pretended to be sick enough times that he's on to that one. Ugh. Wednesday will be easy because I work out right after work and can say I ate before that but tomorrow will be more tough - but we are having a happy hour thing after work and I DO NOT WANT TO EAT OR DRINK ANYTHING at it but I still want to go, so if I have a fast to engage in I think it will be easier not to be tempted. I'll give it a shot and see what happens....

200 - did good
400 - did bad
600 - think i'm over already, ugh

Damn it!

I'm ready for my 200 calorie day.
I'm having dinner with my husband and a friend of ours so my plan is to stay busy all day and not eat and then have a salad for dinner. I'm getting my first tattoo today, that will take up some time, lol!

I'm going for a run this morning!

Some tips I'm going to be keeping in mind/doing etc:

I found these on a website


Keep a thinspiration book. Get a really nice journal or something and print pictures of skinny models, tips, quotes, or workouts, and glue it in there. Look through it whenever you want to binge.
I keep meaning to do this...

Take a Polaroid picture or a cell phone picture of yourself wearing nothing but your underwear. When you want to binge, look at it, and see all that fat that you need to get rid of? Carry it
in your wallet or phone whenever you go somewhere where there will be food.
This is like the best idea I've ever heard!! This should help me at lunch time when I want to go to taco bell lol...

Make a meal plan with all the days and put the limit of calories you'll allow yourself to after you eat write down what you ate. Keep a food diary.

The 3 S's SUANA! STEAM! SWEAT! 20 Minutes in a deep sweat in the suana/steam room you can burn as much calories as a low impact exercise and get rid of nasty toxins.
We have a suana and a steam room at the gym, I need to use them!

My goal for today is 800 calories or lower. High I know but tomorrow is going to be a 200 calorie day since I'm not working out I'm going to start 2468 for a little while with an e-friend *wink*

Today:
oatmeal - 140
wonton soup - 180
bubble tea - 250

total: 570

I'm not eating with my husband tonight so I can get away with eating less for dinner. I'm going to a chairty fund raiser though with food - I'm hoping for a veggie or fruit tray though!

I haven't posted in this journal in forever and I really need to, so I'm back!

I'm trying to do the WW program to lose weight in a healthy way but it's to fucking slow - ugh. Back to my old ways! Or at least some combination of the two.

I think I'm going to try only eating as many calories as I burn in my workouts per day with the rest of my basal life-style whatever calories used to move my body through out the day being the deficit amount. For most people it's the other way around, but that way doesn't amount to much weight loss. I don't know, we'll see.

Sorry I haven't updated in a while here is what's going on:

Started working out with a personal trainer - so far so good.
We're in this cheaper trial phase right now but by the end of the week I need to settle on the package I want and see what we can afford. The one I want to do is almost $3,000 for 6 months. Yikes! It's 566$ a month. So we'll see...

I am now going to the gym 5 days a week - more than I've ever done in the past!

Monday - 6:00 AM
Tuesday - After Work (About 5:15)
Wednesday - 5:30 PM with the Trainer
Thursday - 6:00 AM
Friday and Saturday = "off" days but I will probably still take a walk or do a video or something on these days
Sunday - Afternoon with the Trainer

My body hurts but I'm happy!
I think I have a weight in Wednesday - I've made a goal not to step on the scale until then! (very hard for me so wish me luck!)

Sorry I've been the suck at LJ as of late - stupid business trips!
My flight from MO to WA was cancelled so I took a later flight, stayed her for two days was going to come home today but guess what, flight cancelled, no I'm not fucking kidding so I'm here another day I'll be going home Saturday night and my plane wont get in until 10 AM SUNDAY MORNING - gotta love these over night flights half way across the country. Boooo

I miss my husband and my babies but the work is good, I think I'll be getting a promotion in the near future that will require this travel thing to become more often but if so I'm asking for more money!

I am so looking forward to starting with my personal trainer!
The only thing that scares me is I know they are going to try to make me eat a steady diet of X number of calories a day and I know I wont like it I'm going to TRY to do what they say but I can't make any promises, lol

I'm scared to see how much weigh I've gained back, I've been avoiding the scale. I decided to do video posts on youtube so once I start putting them up I'll post them here as well.

I totally hit a new low last night. My husband and I were arguing about something stupid and I totally broke down in tears and ended up confessing tons of stuff to him, what I feel, how I really just lost 24 lbs (by not eating) about lying to him about not eating, about not taking my medication, everything.... and how I've gone completely opposite the last few weeks and just ate everything in sight gaining like 7 or 8 lbs back. I think I was damn near hysterical. I think I scared him (and me) but in the long run I think it's a good thing. It resulted in me and him taking today off work and spending the whole day together without the kids and going up to our gym and signing me up for a personal trainer - expensive as all hell, but I think it will do me a lot of good. I start on Jan 8th (due to the fact that I'm about to go out of town for a week for work). Wish me luck!

Not sure what I'm going to do diet wise right now - "healthy" diets are confusing and frustrating to me - making me want to go back to straight old fashion restricting, no muss no fuss. Honestly even the "Experts" don't agree with what you should and shouldn't eat, when, how, etc. I think it's all a free for all really. The only thing they all seem to agree on is eat LESS and move MORE - so for now, that's all I'm going to do. I'm thinking of going to see my doctor (have to see him for more migraine medicine anyway) but I'm afraid I'll just get standard doctor speak that doesn't really help me. Not sure what to do there.

I went to the gym tonight, that felt GOOD.

I gained - boooo!!!

Back to 187. Yikes!!!

Back on track, looking forward to hitting the gym tonight!

If I get through this holiday season without gaining 20 lbs it will be a fucking miricle....

I really need to stop weighing myself until the holidays are over - lol
Seriously - it's stressful.

Why do all holidays revolve around food? No wonder Americans are so fat....

Hello gang and hello all new people!
My business trip ran over and I was gone longer than I thought I would be but I'm home now!!

Let's sum it up by saying I need to start over the fat smash diet at day one - ugh I ate so much disgusting food - I swear!!!

I hope you all join me over at fatsmashsupport where I'm documenting the diet and there the whole diet is spelled out so you don't have to get the book (ignore the disclaimer that says you have to have the book to join, that is just for legal mumbo jumobo)

Ok fat smash diet day one starts again tomorrow!!

I am SO NOT LOOKING FORWARD to getting on the scale in the morning. Yikes!!

My business trip went longer than expected, I'm still in KY
Most posting either tonight or tomorrow!

Yesterday I planed to eat this:
* Smoothie
* Orange
* 1 cup navy beans with tomatoes and garlic
* apple
* 1/2 cup corn
* veggie/tofu lightly stir fried in wok with 2 tsp oil and veggie broth

But here is what I really ate:
* Smoothie (drank some of this threw the rest out, could hardly choke it down, I hate drinking calories and I'm never hungry in the morning)
* Orange (half at one time, the other half a few hours later)
* 1 cup navy beans with tomatoes and garlic (this was very good)
* apple (did not eat this)
* 1/2 cup corn (did not eat this either)
* veggie/tofu lightly stir fried in wok with 2 tsp oil and veggie broth (ate this, didn't eat it all though)
added - blended frozen banana with 1 T soy milk and 1 small handful homemade fat smash granoloa.

You're not supposed to get on the scale for 9 days but I can't help it, I get on the damn scale every day. Lost one pound!!

I have to leave tonight for a business trip - travel - ack!!
So If you don't hear from me for a while, that is why. I'm back Wednesday night though.

Day one of fat smash - 183.6 lbs
(Reminder - I'm 5'2)

Wow - I lost like a pounds and a half since yesterday without even trying (well, I should say, without even eatting, lol)

This morning I started by making a smoothie for breakfast.
Only was able to choke like 2/3 of it down. Ugh. I hate breakfast.
It's not the smoothie's fault - I just hate eating as soon as I wake up. Some people wake up hungry - not me. It's the one time of day when I don't want to eat something, lol!

I have my meals/snacks for the rest of the day with me at work and plan on doing a veggie and tofu stir fry tonight.

Here is the plan, I'll make sure to update what I really end up eating later and/or on fatsmashsupport

* Smoothie
* Orange
* 1 cup navy beans with tomatoes and garlic
* apple
* 1/2 cup corn
* veggie/tofu lightly stir fried in wok with 2 tsp oil and veggie broth

I need to put this all into a calorie counter and see what I come up with .... hummmm.... around 850 for the day. It feels like a lot - even though I know "it's not" - ugh. We'll see what I manage to eat!