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Out of town post

Sorry I've been the suck at LJ as of late - stupid business trips!
My flight from MO to WA was cancelled so I took a later flight, stayed her for two days was going to come home today but guess what, flight cancelled, no I'm not fucking kidding so I'm here another day I'll be going home Saturday night and my plane wont get in until 10 AM SUNDAY MORNING - gotta love these over night flights half way across the country. Boooo

I miss my husband and my babies but the work is good, I think I'll be getting a promotion in the near future that will require this travel thing to become more often but if so I'm asking for more money!

I am so looking forward to starting with my personal trainer!
The only thing that scares me is I know they are going to try to make me eat a steady diet of X number of calories a day and I know I wont like it I'm going to TRY to do what they say but I can't make any promises, lol

I'm scared to see how much weigh I've gained back, I've been avoiding the scale. I decided to do video posts on youtube so once I start putting them up I'll post them here as well.

The gift at the end of rock bottom

I totally hit a new low last night. My husband and I were arguing about something stupid and I totally broke down in tears and ended up confessing tons of stuff to him, what I feel, how I really just lost 24 lbs (by not eating) about lying to him about not eating, about not taking my medication, everything.... and how I've gone completely opposite the last few weeks and just ate everything in sight gaining like 7 or 8 lbs back. I think I was damn near hysterical. I think I scared him (and me) but in the long run I think it's a good thing. It resulted in me and him taking today off work and spending the whole day together without the kids and going up to our gym and signing me up for a personal trainer - expensive as all hell, but I think it will do me a lot of good. I start on Jan 8th (due to the fact that I'm about to go out of town for a week for work). Wish me luck!

The default Diet

Not sure what I'm going to do diet wise right now - "healthy" diets are confusing and frustrating to me - making me want to go back to straight old fashion restricting, no muss no fuss. Honestly even the "Experts" don't agree with what you should and shouldn't eat, when, how, etc. I think it's all a free for all really. The only thing they all seem to agree on is eat LESS and move MORE - so for now, that's all I'm going to do. I'm thinking of going to see my doctor (have to see him for more migraine medicine anyway) but I'm afraid I'll just get standard doctor speak that doesn't really help me. Not sure what to do there.

I went to the gym tonight, that felt GOOD.

Weight gain

I gained - boooo!!!

Back to 187. Yikes!!!

Back on track, looking forward to hitting the gym tonight!
If I get through this holiday season without gaining 20 lbs it will be a fucking miricle....
I really need to stop weighing myself until the holidays are over - lol
Seriously - it's stressful.

Why do all holidays revolve around food? No wonder Americans are so fat....
Hello gang and hello all new people!
My business trip ran over and I was gone longer than I thought I would be but I'm home now!!

Let's sum it up by saying I need to start over the fat smash diet at day one - ugh I ate so much disgusting food - I swear!!!

I hope you all join me over at fatsmashsupport where I'm documenting the diet and there the whole diet is spelled out so you don't have to get the book (ignore the disclaimer that says you have to have the book to join, that is just for legal mumbo jumobo)

Ok fat smash diet day one starts again tomorrow!!

I am SO NOT LOOKING FORWARD to getting on the scale in the morning. Yikes!!

quick post

My business trip went longer than expected, I'm still in KY
Most posting either tonight or tomorrow!

Scale Cheater

Yesterday I planed to eat this:
* Smoothie
* Orange
* 1 cup navy beans with tomatoes and garlic
* apple
* 1/2 cup corn
* veggie/tofu lightly stir fried in wok with 2 tsp oil and veggie broth

But here is what I really ate:
* Smoothie (drank some of this threw the rest out, could hardly choke it down, I hate drinking calories and I'm never hungry in the morning)
* Orange (half at one time, the other half a few hours later)
* 1 cup navy beans with tomatoes and garlic (this was very good)
* apple (did not eat this)
* 1/2 cup corn (did not eat this either)
* veggie/tofu lightly stir fried in wok with 2 tsp oil and veggie broth (ate this, didn't eat it all though)
added - blended frozen banana with 1 T soy milk and 1 small handful homemade fat smash granoloa.

You're not supposed to get on the scale for 9 days but I can't help it, I get on the damn scale every day. Lost one pound!!

I have to leave tonight for a business trip - travel - ack!!
So If you don't hear from me for a while, that is why. I'm back Wednesday night though.

Down a little

Day one of fat smash - 183.6 lbs
(Reminder - I'm 5'2)

Wow - I lost like a pounds and a half since yesterday without even trying (well, I should say, without even eatting, lol)

This morning I started by making a smoothie for breakfast.
Only was able to choke like 2/3 of it down. Ugh. I hate breakfast.
It's not the smoothie's fault - I just hate eating as soon as I wake up. Some people wake up hungry - not me. It's the one time of day when I don't want to eat something, lol!

I have my meals/snacks for the rest of the day with me at work and plan on doing a veggie and tofu stir fry tonight.

Here is the plan, I'll make sure to update what I really end up eating later and/or on fatsmashsupport

* Smoothie
* Orange
* 1 cup navy beans with tomatoes and garlic
* apple
* 1/2 cup corn
* veggie/tofu lightly stir fried in wok with 2 tsp oil and veggie broth

I need to put this all into a calorie counter and see what I come up with .... hummmm.... around 850 for the day. It feels like a lot - even though I know "it's not" - ugh. We'll see what I manage to eat!